tell your heart to beat again

There are moments in time that change you. As you look back on your life these moments seem to stand still while everything else keeps spinning. 

Don't expect them to always be big and obvious, they are often the small ones we barely notice at the time, and usually we don't hold them with that much significance in our minds. And sometimes, they are the ones we think we would rather forget. 

My moment, Heart Surgery. At the time I was a young 19 year old fresh out of high school and only scratching the surface of trying to figure my life out. Surgery of any kind was the furthest thing from my mind. When a bomb like that gets dropped their is no running for cover there is only facing what is inevitably the biggest challenge of your life. 

I realised there was two options, I could either curl up and not participate in life or I could use this as a driving force to become a better version of myself and help to empower others along the way. My conscious decision to to use this experience as a building block to my future was what I believe to be the thing that got me through. It was not something I shared publicly or even talked about, it was something I just quietly kept in the back of my mind and reminded my self in the hard moments that all of this pain had a purpose. 

I am not going to sit here and tell you that it was a walk in the park, it just isn't, and having this mind set came with its own set of challenges. There are some days that just suck, its life, we've all been there. Its okay to sit and cry and just let it all out, its healthy even. I did it multiple times, it makes us human, building ourselves up to be torn down again is the entire point, but it is how you pick yourself up again afterwards that counts, if all you can do is crawl, then start crawling. 

I am a strong believer in trusting the process, the universe has a plan, let it happen. I've had to be other wise I would have gone crazy by now. Coming into this new year, lets make a pledge to grow from our difficult moments and smash all our goals big or small. Make some noise, fill the damn silence. 

Jess xx